My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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