Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
