hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
