I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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