i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
