So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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