How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
wow bdsm is so cute
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
