Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Watching her eat just hurts me
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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