how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
