Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
