Porn is love you can see.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize