ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
