Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
