i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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