Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
