I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
