the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
