I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
