we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
