using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
