He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize