I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
third nipple confirmed
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
