whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
