don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
