The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
A bitchslap is in order.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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