She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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