Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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