sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize