even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
