so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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