Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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