I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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