Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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