do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize