Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
