There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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