apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
