hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
