At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
