There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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