turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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