Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
