my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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