So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize