yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
