Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
