Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize