If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This is my gift to your gina
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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