His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
