Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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