Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
