nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
