check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
