What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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