it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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