I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
false alarm, still single
You did what with his pubic hair?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
