i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
