i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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