Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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