For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
