in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
