i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Farmville is her only friend.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
