a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So vagazzling was a success
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
